I received an offer on the house - I put it on the market eight weeks ago. Most weekends we have had viewings and some positive feedback. But nothing solid, no offer.
Then suddenly the offer and it's all systems go. Very exciting and of course daunting, as the reality kicks in. A downsize will mean a lot of de-cluttering and clearing out. All cathartic and welcomed but where to start?
Anyway this little bit of activity has strangely kicked my X husband into bastard mode. No idea this would happen. No doubt he went on-line to check the house sale price and choked, it is considerably more than our agreed divorce settlement price some years ago. Not my fault, my error or my doing.
However money motivates many and the sharks now circle.
I would like to mention at this point, I earn considerably less than my X, have the children 87% of the time, attend all school functions and requirements and am a excellent mother, who works 4-5 days a week (justifying my existence & contribution - again!).
I will also add at this point, this tax liability is because xxxx wanted to try a scheme to avoid paying more tax. I did challenge this some years ago whilst we were married and was told to shut up. However all the tax liability correspondence between xxx and the tax office has taken place after we stopped cohabiting, so I have not been privy to the requests, contents, amounts or processes. However during our divorce settlement I was made aware a large tax bill was looming. As part of the divorce settlement I would have to contribute an agreed limited liability (up to the value of £15,000) within an allocated timeframe. This timeframe has subsequently passed.
Please take a look at this delightful email correspondence we have had today...... what a plonker! Or am I mis-guided?
Let me set the scene. On Tuesday night he popped over to get something from one of the boys. I invited him in and told him I'd sold the house. And then he launched into how I owed him money for his tax bill. I suggested he re-read the Consent Order as the time had lapsed from when the payments or possible contributions from me were due. We had an agreed timeframe in our Consent order of two years for him to finalise the details and let me know, after such time my liability lapsed. Please know these were never my tax liabilities but in marriage and divorce good and bad is shared.....as many of you will know.
Here is his email today just as I received it. Not hello Lucy..... straight to the point. Lovely.
Email communication today, his is in black and my reply is in blue.
So yes there is a statement about the sum being full arrived at by July 2016 but we both know that the tax liability is well in excess of the £30 k that was originallyl estimated. In February 2016 i had to pay a APN tax demand for 25K
I have been more that amicable throughout the divorce proceeding have shielded this tax burden from you to a large extent. You are in a position to pay this and it is right and proper that you now meet this obligation when the sale goes through or i will be be forced to go through the courts again.
Let me know what your reply is
Take me to court.
Followed by ........
Hi xxxxx
I am now waiting for the fallout of the above, and wondering what will happen. It feels as if you make giant leaps forward followed by momentous steps backwards at times.
All tax matters were to be resolved and concluded by July 2016. My liability of £15,000 ceased after July 2016.
I was not presented with a bill or proof of payment owing during the allocated timeframe. I have never seen or been presented with any correspondence or information about your tax liabilities.
I was not made aware of your current situation regarding this matter and your future costs.
The cut off date was put in place to protect and ensure matters were finalised within an agreed time frame. I remember at the time of our divorce negotiations I wanted the date earlier (2015) but agreed to the extension of July 2016 as requested by your solicitor.
I do not know why you suddenly feel it is all unfair. We agreed and negotiated a clean break so we could both resume with our lives, and the paths that these may take.
The children are our joint responsibility and any associated additional costs, we have with agreement shared, but even now you try to waver and relent when and where possible. Durham Uni Open Day is an example.
You are happy for me to be the ever present proactive parent and yet now you feel I have it too easy?
It will be a great shame for us to become entangled in more legal rows because you feel it is now all unfair.
Take whichever path you wish and seek legal advise if you feel this is necessary.
What a sad day for me.
Just when I thought we had a good working relationship and our communication about the children was improving.
I have been paying your maintenance when clearly you have been co-habiting with A. Also Toms for the past 6 months.I have stated numerous times, present a list of bills and i will reconcile there against larger expenses as in car etc. which you conveniently forget. Dont talk about wavering and relenting where possible.
This is about an agreement that you would meet a fraction of the tax bill that has been hanging over me for past years . It has been very clear that this exceeded £30K even on the day you signed the consent.
The SAD bit is that you feel you that somehow you can get out of this and its all fine but ignore that fgact that 25K of tax has been paid and a much larger amount is due.
xxxxx,
Please read your Consent order.
A moved in at the beginning of June 2016, I am allowed to cohabit with someone for one year until it changes my payment. That is why I am moving house because I need to consolidate and reduce my out goings because I know my maintenance payments are due to decrease. And yet this very move has sent you into a flurry of anger.
We have not reviewed the children’s maintenance because neither of us have requested this. I could have asked for a review after the first year in line with inflation but didn’t as it felt petty.
You could have requested a review when Tom started uni but didn’t because you recognised that you wanted me to have Tom in the holidays, contribute towards his accommodation and living costs.
We can review the maintenance, you have never asked and neither have I. If you do not wish to contribute towards Tom and James when they are at uni I will not be able to contribute towards their living expenses and this will fall to you, as you earn considerably more than me. These are choices we can make, I don’t mind.
The Durham trip - I mentioned this in advance, you agreed to contribute. I sent you details but you haven’t settled. How do you want me to do it in future? Send you an invoice!
Yes it has been great that you have been considerate but then so have I. Please don’t make yourself out to be the golden boy and me the evil woman.
There is no flurry of anger .....there is disbelief that you are trying to get out of an agreement to pay 15000 in tax liability that we have both known about from the start. It hasn't gone away!....and you are in a position now to pay it .
Inflation has been less than 1% ...This is not about a piece of paper, its your morality ....the facts are are clear
