As my current business contract draws to a close, with the final end date being three months too long, ( I should have left months ago when I first decided I had reached the point of maximum benefit) I am now pondering my next move.
What do I really want to do.
What makes me happy.
What am I good at.
At 49 I have a vast amount of experience but whether it is relevant is another matter entirely.
I can turn my skills ( whatever they are?) to most things but I don't consider myself an expert at anything.
I understand business, project management, leadership, the importance of P&L, overheads and the mechanics of making a business work and the importance of excellent communication but what am I actually qualified to do?
I hate network meetings, in-house business competitions, disorganised people, driven sales, long meetings and bad people management.
I find working for entrepreneurs difficult and wonder if I will ever find one I truly admire.
I do not lay awake at night wanting to pour every moment of every day into one specific project, that will take all my energy, savings and gobble up all my time.
I really like working, it makes me feel valued, it gives me a sense of worth yet I don't see work as the reason for living.
With the children needing me less, life beyond the full-on demands of motherhood are now presenting more questions than answers.
What do I really want to do now that I am all grown up?
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